Understanding men can be so confusing can’t it? So much of their behavior is just out of our grasp. We as women are emotional creatures. Men on the other hand seem to be able to just switch their feelings off over night. What makes them do this and why do they do this? They can hurt our feelings and then accuse us of being oversensitive. Have you ever heard the line, “you aren’t going to bring that up again are you?”. That’s us as women trying to get them to understand us. So how can we as women understand men and learn to live in harmony with them?
Understanding Men Hmm…
A lot of the answer lies within ourselves. We set expectations as to what we need to feel loved and to have love shown to us. Setting up these expectations in turn can set us up for disappointment. Men do not always view showing love to us the same way we do. So until we truly grasp understanding men and how they relate in relationships, we will not be able to move them towards us.
The actions that we use to get what we need to feel love are often what actually pushes them away. We complain, we nag, we ask, we cry and we get our feelings hurt. While these things may get us what we want short term, the man usually goes back to his old ways soon. These things don’t work, so why continue doing the same thing if it just does not get you the results of what you actually need and want. How can you understand men and get what you need and deserve?
We don’t want much really, just to feel adored and loved. Its really simple. So why don’t men get it? Because they do not think like we do. They avoid emotional confrontation, Is there a better way to communicate our needs without throwing them into defense mode. Can you get what you really want and need with the man you are with now? The answer is yes. You can have the relationship you have always wanted and you can have it with a new man, your current man or maybe the one that got away.
You can begin understanding men and how they relate to women. Understand their needs and how to get them to communicate with you on a deeper level by changing your attitude towards your relationship. If you let go of the outcome and realize you have no control over it, then you are more open to receive from them. If you can learn to show them that you will not be an emotional basket case every time they make a mistake, they will be more inclined to please you and work harder to make you happy. The first step to build a fun and exciting relationship starts with you and how well you understand your man.
Whether you are married, in a relationship, or dating, the way you communicate with men is very important. It is important that you communicate in a way that does not send them running but still get your point across and stand your ground and get what you want. If you are feeling resentment because of all of the disappointments from your relationship you can change it and you can start today. Minutes from now you can have the tools and the knowledge to turn your relationship into bliss and have the man in you life working to make you happy without you lifting a finger. Have the relationship you want and deserve. Learn to understand your man.
How to Communicate With Men
If you want to know how to communicate with men, it isn’t that difficult. They compartmentalize. We don’t. We can be all over the board as a rule. Let’s say for example you are sharing with him about your bad day. Say your boss has been a total jerk. First off, men naturally want to solve our problems. It’s the way they are wired. They may just start to give us advice how to handle it and all we want is to be heard and maybe some encouragement.
We I say we can be all over the board, I mean our conversations can take a lot of turns and be confusing for a man that compartmentalizes his thoughts. We start out with out boss being a jerk, then move to Sally the office manager kissing up to the boss, then we may move back to how the boss reacts to Sally. Next we are talking about Sally’s hard working assistance and how they are neglected. For the problem solving man, he doesn’t know which problem we are even talking about that bothers us most when it’s all said and done.
Another simple rule for how to communicate with men is to avoid starting a sentence with “you”. When you start a sentence with you, his first instinct is to go on the defense. This has been programmed into him after years and years of dealing with women who place blame. You always do this or you always do that, or you never do this. Get my drift here?
Start your sentences with “I” when you want to discuss something important to you. It disarms him and he won’t react negatively most times. This is a good rule to follow to communicate with men. Example, “I must be very sensitive today, because what you said really hurt my feelings”. Always start with I otherwise you come across as placing blame.
I have found the best way to handle this is to just tell him. Yep, just tell him. I appreciate you trying to fix this for me, that is sweet of you, but really honey, I don’t want you to fix it, I just want to vent and for you to listen. That’s all I want. Stops them in their tracks and doesn’t make him feel bad.
How to Make Him Feel Like a Man
Women are so independent today. We no longer feel like we need a man. All this is fine and well, but where does it leave the men? They like to feel needed. Below are some suggestions on how to make him feel like a man
* Ask him to walk you to your car. You need him to keep you safe.
* Ask him to kill all bugs. Look away when he does this.
* Get him to open a jar or lift something for you
* If you are watching a scary movie, bury your head in his chest during the bad parts
* If it’s cold outside, ask him to warm your side of the bed
* Let him move any heavy piece of furniture
* Let him park your car or back it out of a tight place. Tell him he is a better driver.
* Any light bulbs you can’t make it known you want him to change them
* Have him get rid of the wasp nest on your patio
* Get him to pump your gas
* Request that famous steak or burger he grill so well. Tell him you are craving it.
In essence what I am saying is appreciate him and the little things he does. Don’t go overboard though. If he takes you to dinner, thank him, tell him you enjoyed it. Once is enough, you don’t want to act like this is your first hot meal in years.
Praise him also. If he does something that makes you happy, tell him. If he takes out your trash, say, wow, thanks, I really didn’t want to walk to the dumpster in the dark. Praise goes a long ways in making a man feel like a man and feel appreciated.
Affection is also a good way to make him feel like a man and make him want to be closer to you. Affection is also a good way to show appreciation. If he does something nice for you, smile and give him kiss or a hug. A warm receptive woman makes a man feel like a man and will bring him closer to you.
While men do love the independent woman, the one who doesn’t depend on him for her happiness and center her world around him, they do want to feel needed. A man who feels needed will be more likely to open up to you and move closer. Independent women are great, but a ball buster type woman who does everything for herself and doesn’t need a man isn’t what he is looking for.
Men really aren’t that complicated. If you want to know more on understanding men and what it is they are really looking for, you can check this out to learn what they are really thinking and what they really want in a woman. Women Men Adore!