Getting His Interest Back – Man Mistake Eraser

Has he become distant and you feel you are spinning your wheels getting his interest back.  Women often scare men away by making some of the most common mistakes. Did you start taking the controls of the relationship? Maybe you did the chasing by calling, texting, suggesting outings together. This is what I call trying to control the outcome or get the results you desire. Thing is, this doesn’t work. If he isn’t doing the pursuing, you have upset the balance. This is one of the most common man mistakes we make.

Another mistake is being clingy or demanding. Maybe you question him and his where abouts when you aren’t together. Maybe you ask him to check in when he goes out without you or worse, you text him the entire time he is out with his friends. Men see this mistake as he is going to lose his freedom. Loss of freedom is huge for a man.  If you want to get his interest back, holding on tighter isn’t going to do the trick.

Did you ask him where you stand, or how he feels or where is your relationship heading? We call this having the talk and it is almost always a big man mistake. This causes the man to freak out and often results in his disappearance. Is there a man mistake eraser to fix this one? It’s a tough one for sure.

Did you have a disagreement and then you sent him a long email telling him all about your feelings. When a man opens an email and sees it is a long note, his first thought is, oh boy, she is going to talk about her feelings and tell me everything I did wrong. Nine times out of ten, his preconceived ideas about the email will cause him to miss the point, not to mention he may see you as a love sick school girl.

Whatever man mistake you made, your first instinct is to fix it. You think, if I could just explain, if I could just get him to understand we could work this out. The fact of the matter is, it’s all about timing. If you try to force the issue too soon, you may just blow it for good. It’s best to take a deep breathe, and don’t act when your emotions are all over the place.

You emotions are what got you into this, they aren’t going to get you out. Before you get out your man mistake eraser, let the emotions settle down. You will see things more clearly once you have calmed. These things are not often solved over night.

I can remember a time when I tried to force a man to hear me out. In hindsight, had I just waited a week or so for him to calm down, not to mention me, I probably could have salvaged it. I didn’t though, I pushed and pushed and by doing so, I pushed him right out of my life. Don’t make this mistake. Forcing it is not a man mistake eraser.

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There is a man mistake eraser, and with the right techniques, you can fix almost any screw up and will get his interest back.

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15 Responses to “Getting His Interest Back – Man Mistake Eraser”

  1. Jerika K. says:

    Hi- I really need some help on this situation that I really messed up :/

    I recently broke up with my bf in november, around the same time I met a new guy Jeff. Jeff and I had been texting for about 2 weeks or so, and he was super interested in me and my personality / life etc and wanted to see me etc and initiate convo all the time, so finally I give in and tell him Ill go on a date with him (honestly In should have said no because it was technically only a couple of days after the breakup, and I wasn’t probably emotionally ready) – (the breakup itself with my ex had been coming and the relationship had just run its course, but I think when it actually happened I still hadn’t fully registered it by the time of the date)

    Anyway, so for some reason (? I think I wasn’t thinking straight) I ask Jeff before hand if it was ok to sleep over (bc I assumed we would go to a bar after dinner and I didn’t want to drive after drinking.. I know, I shouldnt have done this..) and he was a little confused, but agreed. Dinner went really well, he was an absolute gentleman, and we had a great chemistry and dynamic. When we got back to his place, I thought we would just watch a movie and sleep (which in itself was ridiculous.. honestly I think I was in an emotional place and shouldnt have felt SO comfortable with him already) but of course, we start hooking up. Before we ended up about to have sex, I hesitate and realize I wasn’t able to follow through (considering I wasn’t over my breakup probably) and say stuff like “are you seeing other people, I don’t want to have sex unless were exclusive, etc” to which he was like “oh it seems like ur not ready, sex shouldnt be ablout contracts etc” and backs off. and then I say stuff like “will u miss me over break/ how will we keep in touch if ur traveling etc” (SO CLINGY i cant believe I said that..) to which he was super vague. Due to our chemistry we end up trying to hook up again but then something funny happens and we stop and just go to bed

    next morning he asks how i slept and I was like “not well bc I was thinking a lot.. im glad nothing happened last night and i think we should just take things slow” he then acts cold, drops me off to the train station, and we have a very vague convo about work in the car. I text him that I had fun and thank him for the ride to which he just replies a smiley face.

    Then the next day he wishes me a good trip (i was going on vacation to London), I thank him and the convo ends. Then I make the mistake of texting him pictures of the scenery while im on break to which he responds, but not too extensively. He then wishes me a happy thanksgiving a couple days later, to which i thank him.

    I get back from break, havent heard from him since he wished me for thanksgiving (was about a week) and then make a really bad mistake.. I start out txting him how his thanksgiving was, and he responds quite eagerly back, and then i ask him if he has time to chat, to which he makes excuses about work. The next evening, i do something EVEN worse.. I tell him i want to be honest with him and ask him if he can talk on the phone, and he asks me whats wrong… So i send him LONG text msgs in a row basically summarized saying “Lol i honestly misrepresented myself etc.. idk y i said i would sleepover.. I just wanted to get to kno you without any expectations.. I’m really embarassed” to which he responds 30 min later “ill call you when I have time” and I say ok. THEN i make things even worse by saying that I’ll be in LA both Fri and Sat of the weekend (we both usually go out to the city every weekend to hang out – (not together, but just coincidentally thats where each of our social lives are)) and he said he wouldnt be in the city on Friday, mabye saturday (he responded 8 hrs later to my txt) and then I txt him saying I had a lot of fun etc at the club and then he texts me back the next dsay 6 hrs later asking me where, to which i respond. This whole exchange was over 1 month ago, and I stopped contacting him after that. I added him on facebook though about 2 weeks ago- he accepted my request, but his profile is super private. We havent talked at all…

    I know I messed up SO much.. I just wish I had a second chance because honestly I think I was just in a bad space because of the timing with my breakup ( which i now feel a lot more at peace about).. I just miss my conversations with Jeff and feel like we had a pretty good dynamic that I would like to explore, even if we just ended up as friends.. Do you think I still have hope?? What should I do???

    Thanks SOOO much,, this has really been bothering me for so long now!


    • Robin in Carolina says:

      I think the best thing you can do is stay in no contact. Explore why you react like this. I suspect it’s not all about your recent break up.

      • Jerika K. says:

        Okay- I’ll do as you said. Do you think there’s any hope left though?

        Also, what exactly should I explore my reaction to?

        Thanks so much Robin! I really appreciate it!


  2. Leilani J. says:

    Hi there :)
    I read your helpful advice, and thought I’d see if you could help me with my problem.
    I met a guy online a little over 2 months ago. We were friends first, which is what I had been looking for at the time since I was going through a divorce. Eventually, weeks later, it turned romantic.
    I was hesitant, but enjoyed the attention. We had such a connection, though, and I began to look forward to talking to him every day. I was long distance for a few weeks, so he told me he’d wait for me to come back and that he liked me so much.
    It turned into the type of relationship (if you can call it that) where he was calling me baby, and saying he couldn’t wait to be mine, and for me to be his. I got so caught up. He would check in with me, we would talk for hours some nights, and he texted me every day, all day. Then I told him that I felt guilty cause I hadn’t let him know about my divorce situation and that I had kids.
    He was shocked, but I told him I didn’t expect to get so close to him so fast. It was crazy!
    He told me the next day that he thought about it, and regardless, he cared about me so much, and that he still wanted to pursue me and date me. We would just have some things to figure out.
    I was ecstatic. I would be going home on a week.
    The first night we met, we got so caught up in finally seeing each other and it was magical. We had sex. He told me the next day that he coldnt stop thinking about me. I felt the same.
    I met him again a couple days later, and it was possibly more magical then the first night. He would look into my eyes, and tell me how much I meant to him.
    A couple days later, I went on a casual date with someone else,
    And he kissed me. I immediately realized that there was only one guy I wanted to kiss. So I decided to ask him about us. I must have worded it in the worst way possible, but I asked what he thought about our relationship. I was just curious, but not in any way trying to be pushy. We were very open about everything.
    He didn’t respond the whole day, and when he did, it was the worst text ever. He said he wasn’t ready for a serious relationship, and that he wanted to have an open relationship, and something about us being friends? And on and on.
    I texted him back that I was confused, and if he could call me. I completely overreacted on the phone, and cried and said that I guess we were over and that I don’t know if I could be friends. And how could he say all that to me and not have meant it? Did he just want sex? And it was bad. He said some things too.
    Now I realize I overreacted, and I apologized. He apologized for freaking out, and said it was probably a misunderstanding.
    But now, I don’t know where we stand. He texts me, but it’s all very casual and friendly, no where near what we were last week.
    So, is it over? Is there a chance I can recover from this? I don’t want a relationship yet, maybe one day, but I do still want to date him. He made me very happy in a dark time.
    I don’t know if I should ask him straight out? Because I did make a mistake, should I be the one to push? I just don’t want to seem too pushy or demanding. I just wish I could take back that text.

    • Robin in Carolina says:

      He has told you where you stand. He is also aware that you are probably more attached than he is and this is why he is now keeping you at arms length. To prevent you from attaching further. I think if you are honest with yourself, you know you want more than just casual dating with this guy. Be very careful of guys that come on too strong too fast. They often tell you what they think you want to hear. I would keep dating others and keep your options open for that is what he is doing I am sure. If you contact him or make that move, it looks desperate and needy. If you want to still see him, let him initiate.

  3. Mishqee says:


    I was dating this guy. The chemistry between us is amazing! He relocated to another area, 600km’s from me. I was supposed to go visit him however my car requires extensive engine repair and flights are abit too costly at the moment

    he was really looking forward to having me there for a weekend. When i told him about this, that I will not be able to visit him as planned, he seemed abit aloof.

    He now seems to be ignoring my messages, my last msg to him was 2 days ago, and the message was “How u doing?”
    A friend of mine sent him a msg and he responded right away a few minutes ago.

    I dont know how to address this or what to say in my next message to him.

    Please assist! Its’ really eating me up

    • Robin in Carolina says:

      He is showing you who he is now it’s up to you to believe him. If he isn’t willing to have a little patience or put forth some effort, he won’t make a good partner and it’s good to find that out now as opposed to later.

  4. gelana says:

    Help! Im so confused about my situation.
    I have been good friends online for 4 years with a man in another country. He has always shown some interest in me, was always complimentary and extremely flirty, but I was only very mildly attracted to him and never responded much to his constant attempts to flirt. He initiated almost all our conversations and sometimes complained I didnt respond fast enough. Still, we had a good friendship, spoke at least once a week or so but often more, always got along well, had lots of banter and teasing and humour between us, and he was always quite kind, and saw me through many times when I was upset, without ever losing any interest in me.
    this year we became closer and started speaking almost daily. We then decided to meet in person because I was travelling near his country. I began to talk to him more to prepare for meeting him, and got to know him better, and was very impressed with the large amount of detailed effort he was putting into planning my stay. To my complete shock I found that my perception of him changed and I fell inlove. In the weeks leading up to my meeting with him, we were talking for hours a day, flirting like crazy, he was making lots of “jokes”about how I was going to fall in love for him and move for him, and he kept counting down the days to when id get there.
    However, I began getting very scared. My previous relationships havent gone well and I was terrified of something going wrong with a longtime friend. As our meeting loomed closer I got increasingly nervous and we started having more and more talks consisting of me being scared and him reassuring me.
    when we met we got along but I was too nervous to really be myself. I often went quiet. It was then that I started noticing a kind of emotional distance from him that had never been there in the previous 4 years.
    Its been 3 months since ive left and we continue talking a lot but something has changed. I started to panic, send him long emotional messages, always get anxious, get possessive over him, make it realy obvious how much I liked him. He started to contact me slightly less and we started having fights about him not giving me enough of his time. He suddenly makes excuses about being busy. We never ever used to fight. Now we got to the point where he said he was “fed up” with me pushing for more time.
    I kept trying to control my anxiety but couldnt. I just couldnt relax and let it flow.
    He wants to see me again but seems less keen than before we met, is in no hurry to set a date. He no longer jokes about me moving for him. He refuses to call it a real relationship “because of the distance”. It is completely clear he is less interested than I am. Yet if I mention this, he says he thinks we are still very close and that I overthink things and that hes not distant.
    I am completely in love with this man and would move for him if I saw he was serious about us. Can the damage I have done be undone? I tried pulling away and talking to him less to give us some space… he noticed but he ended up thinking I was being purposely rude to spite him

  5. Moyra Matson says:

    Hi Gelana, your insecurities are going to suffocate this relationship. You need to pull back and relax. Long distance relationships do not suit everyone as they require a huge amount of trust and confidence to make them work. Your man is pulling back as you have noticed and hassling him about and showing your anxiety all the time is just going to push him away even more. Why don’t you join our Forum and post your story. Our ladies offer lots of advice and support and I think you would really find it helpful. Just click on the Forum tab at the top of the home page and come and join us.

    • gelana says:

      Yes I realise this. Im trying to pull back now. I just dont know if the damage can be undone at this point. He does still show interest so I am hoping so. Im just finding it very difficult to relax when I can see heis pulling away. Ive found the anxiety very hard to control. Ive stopped fighting with him but hes still showing decreased interest

  6. cleah says:

    I met a guy 4 months back on facebook named Arp. We belong from the same city but right now we are in different places for college. He 5 years elder to me, but never do we feel the age difference between us. We get along really well and have turned up to be great friends. Well, i dont know if “GREAT FRIENDS” is the correct term defining our relation. He often tries to make me jealous by speaking about other hot girls and then says that he absolutely loves it when i go possessive about him… I told him one day that “Yeah, i like u and i get jealous when u behave like this”he finally said this, “I know how much you like me, but you dont know how much more i like you.” After hearing this i was on cloud 9, but i did not talk about coming into a relationship. That’s because right now coming into a relationship will do us no good but to spoil our friendship as there goes no single day when we do not fight. So we are like on a mental deal of “THIS IS NOT THE RIGHT TIME.” We arent in any relationship but still wants me to behave as if i am his girlfriend. He wants me to call and wake him up at 4 in the morning so that he can revise for his tests. If i dont come online for a day, he loses his minds and does every possible thing to reach out to me. There wouldnt be a single day which we could spend without talking to each other. Each of my days would start with his msg and end the same way.
    But since a week after his college fest, he is behaving like someone totally different. This whole week he didnt ping me for a single time until i did. Actually, its not just this week but its since the very beginning, that its always me who has to start the conversation. this week i decided to wait and not ping him, to see how long can he stay without talking to me. And to my extreme surprise, he made no efforts to begin the conversation, until the 5th day. And on the third day he started behaving normally as if he hadnt got a clue of where he had gone wrong… i told him that i had been waiting for him to make the efforts of talking to me, and each time i said this, he gave replies like ‘LOL.YOU ARE CRAZY… NOT TALKING FOR A WEEK MEANS I M LETTING YOU DOWN???LOL…TEXT ME WHEN U CALM DOWN MY ANGRY BIRD.’ wow!!! I now feel like I expected way too much from him, but then i realize it was him who took my expectations that high. He says he likes me, but doesnt make any effort to show it :-(

    • cleah says:

      *Fifth day

    • Moyra Matson says:

      Hi Cleah and thanks for your comment. I a guy says he’s letting you down then you need to believe him. I’m sorry but he sounds to me like he is not interested but enjoys playing with you. You fill a gap in his day or time and he finds that entertaining but I don’t believe from what you have told us that this man has any intentions of being close to serious. Let him go and find yourself a better one.

  7. Kelsey says:

    Hi. I need Advice
    I met this guy Christmas 2013. He’s my friend’s brother. When we met we hit it off and got on great. He lives 4 hours away from me so we ust to stay in contact through texting and on facebook. When he visited his brother on occasions we would always see eachother then. Things started getting more serious, we were sleeping together. However April 2014 he visited and he was normal with me, affectionate, kissing and cuddling etc. Then when he went back home everything changed. He became distant. He started to not text me as much as he ust to. I invited him to my birthday celebration and he replied yes! But a few weeks after, we were texting and he said he jusy wanted to stay friends” his excuse was the distance. I was devastated id really falling for this guy. However he came for my birthday and we ended up sleeping together as we couldn’t stay away from eachother. But now apparently he has a gf and everytime I see him when he visits his brother for celebrations it kills me. And theres always that spark there. Iv made a mistake by telling him one night when I was drunk that I loved him, I feel embarrassed to come across that needy. We never speak unless we face to face and the truth is I love him so much and I can’t move on with my life as It hurts, iv tried dating different guys but it’s not the same and I won’t let them close enough to me, cause im afraid of being hurt. Im still madly in love with this guy and I want his attention back without sounding needy?

    • Moyra Matson says:

      Hi Kelsey
      Sorry to hear your situation and how hurt you are feeling. Distance relationships can be a huge struggle and from what you have told me it sounds like he may have had another girlfriend on the boil while you thought you were both still seeing each other. If you look at what has happened you will see he was pulling back which signifies loss of interest or a potential new love interest for him. Because he is your friends brother there is always going to be a difficult time as he will continue his life with whom ever he wants and if you are in the same place you will have to cope with that. It’s always awkward in these situations. Forget about what you have said to him and don’t beat yourself up about it. He has probably forgotten so don’t feel bad. The best thing you could possibly do now is avoid any contact with this guy. He has moved on and you need to be strong and let him do that otherwise you will come across as clingy or needy which I’m sure you don’t want to do. If you haven’t already done so please join our Forum. You will get some wonderful help and advice from our members and they will give you great support until you are feeling stronger again. Here’s the link
      Good luck

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